This time of year is for giving and sharing with the ones we love. Sometimes, since we can't be with the ones we love, we find ourselves sharing what we have to give with some people we don't know. In the spirit of giving and the holidays, I find that the more I give of myself, the better I feel. The other day, I had an interesting interaction that with a stranger that I will never forget.
On Wednesday, I went down to Vino Rosso where I met with some friends. After I finished the wine tasting with a new friend whom I just met that night, I had a chance encounter with a really interesting gentleman. I could see him down the way from me being very friendly with everyone around him (and somewhat intoxicated). After a while we made eye contact and he waved and said "Hi". I recanted and smiled (the holidays make me friendly as well). He asked me if I remember him and was excited to see me. I had never met or spoken to this gentleman before but he sure seemed to think so.
I left our encounter where it was, at a friendly greeting and a drunken murmur about where he thinks he knows me from. After another fifteen minutes, there was a scene at the end of the bar involving this man and the bartender. He apparently was refusing to pay for a drink or two that he hadn't touched and was becoming vocally and visibly upset about the situation. The bartender and the owner came to the agreement that this man needed to leave and was willing to adjust his bill in order to facilitate his departure.
I too was ready to leave but noticed that this man was so intoxicated that nobody wanted him on the road. Even if he had the sense to call a cab, I wasn't sure he would have been able to make it home safely that night. Something inside of me told me that this man needed a ride.
With that in mind I informed the bartender that if I could pay my tab quickly, I would give this guy a ride home (effectively getting a drunk and disorderly man out of a classy wine bar). The bartender and owner were excited at the prospect and moved quickly to help out.
I said goodbye to the owner, Jeannie, and wished her a merry Christmas. "Who is that?" she asked me.
"I don't know."
"Then why are you giving him a ride?" she asked.
"I don't want him on the road, do you?"
"No, I guess not," she responded. "You are a nice man. Have a Merry Christmas!"
I ushered this gentleman to my truck after an interesting walk downtown Idaho Falls where I learned his name was Dave. On the way home, he described to me his amazing pinball machine and pool table that nobody ever used. Although he was intoxicated and apparently lonely, Dave seemed like a nice guy and provided me with laughs all the way (twelve blocks) to his house.
Every time I accelerated, changed lanes, or slowed down, Dave was visibly shaken. I asked him, "What is wrong?"
"I am afraid of cars," Dave stammered to my amusement.
"Don't worry, Dave," I chuckled, "I think they might be afraid of you too."
When we arrived at his house, I bid my adieu to my new friend. "Come in and play pinball with me," he requested with a lonely plea.
"No thanks, Dave. I am going over to my mom's house to help her wrap presents."
Dave crossed his arms and clearly admitted, "I am not getting out of your truck until you promise to come inside and play pinball with me." To avoid physically pulling a stranger out of my truck in someone else's driveway at Christmas time, I agreed to one game.
Dave walked up to the door which was locked. Instead of reaching in his pocket and pulling out a key, he reached his arm through a broken window to unlock it. At this point, I wasn't sure who's house we were about to enter, but Dave didn't have the key. Since the two resident dachsunds seemed to know him, I was at least half-sure that he wasn't a stranger here.
After a brief tour with a drunken guide, we went downstairs where there actually was a pinball machine and a very expensive pool table (I wasn't sure they actually existed on the way over). Two acoustic guitars lined the fireplace and a flute was placed carefully on a music stand with classical music print accompanying it. After a forced game of pinball while my intoxicated host got situated, I asked him, "Are you a musician, Dave?"
After some incoherent drunk ramblings I made out that his girlfriend was a classical musician, a chemist at the INL, and apparently unappreciative of his drinking habits. According to Dave, that flute was worth more than the entire house. Dave continued to explain that he played guitar and had several guitars. When I tried to explain the reason for my interest, he looked at me astonished and suddenly invaded my personal bubble.
He stepped real close and in a hushed voice stated, "You don't know who I am do you?"
"You are Dave; a fairly nice guy who invited me in for pinball," I proclaimed. He inched closer to me (now I was scared). Was this guy a murderer? Was he an infamous criminal? What was so important that he had to get so close to me and whisper in a muffled voice?
"Billy Ray Cyrus is my cousin!" he declared.
To this, I inched close to him and muttered, "I hate country music."
Dave exploded in laughter and gave me a high-five. "Right on!"
Dave insisted on a game of eight-ball to which I complied (since I didn't want a fight in my truck, why would I want one in his basement). Dave had a really nice pool table. It seemed a shame that it was never used. Besides, I had no where pressing to go. The presents would still be there a half-hour later.
After several minutes of horrible shots, Dave stepped up to take a shot. He bent over, aimed carefully, and collapsed to the floor.
"Dave," I asked, "are you alive?" There was no response. My mind raced. Should I leave while I was still safe? Should I call an ambulance? I finally walked over to him and poked him with my cue stick.
After a few seconds of rapid prodding, Dave finally looked up at me. "I think I'm done!" he proclaimed.
I burst out with laughter, "Yes, yes you are!" I bid adieu to my new acquaintance, again, and started to make my way for the door.
Dave escorted me outside and thanked me for the ride and hanging out with him. "Are you going to come back?"
"I am around this area, friend. I am sure you will see me around."
"Are you going to come back though," he whimpered. "Nobody ever comes back unless they want something from me."
"Sure, if we ever run into each other again, I am sure I can come back and help you get some use out of that beautiful billiard table." I was ready to leave but almost worried about his emotional state as he began to cry.
"Please come back," Dave pleaded. A grown man was now crying about me coming back to hang out with him? What an interesting night this was developing into.
"Sure, one day I will come back and we can play pool." Although I was concerned I was more amused at how tonight played out. Dave seemed pleased about the prospect of my return and my heart was filled with joy for helping the entire community for giving him a ride home.
It is easy to judge and ignore others. There is nothing in life that requires we help our fellow man at Christmas or any time of year. This year I have come to realize how much charity and giving of myself can not only help others but makes me feel great.
I was initially troubled this week about giving of myself, letting others in, and how much unrequited love hurts. Dave reminded me of an important lesson. The best way to be loved is to share the love you have inside. Whether it is for a drunken stranger that needs a ride, a friend, or your family members, the love we give will always be absorbed where it is needed. There are no mistakes in life.
Don't let others walk on you but don't be afraid to help out when you can. Give of yourself, even until it hurts. Once you give that much, there can be no pain, only more love (Mother Teresa).
Happy Holidays everyone!
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