I am extremely grateful for all of the wonderful experiences I have shared with the multitude of people in my life. Friends have surely helped to define me and my perception of the world. I have, however, come to a realization that the only thing that matters in my life is family. My family has never made the choice to be my family; they have been stuck with me since the beginning. Over the years, they have always been able to share with me the joy that life has to offer even through the hard times.
Granted, there have been times in the past when we didn’t exactly see eye to eye. I now realize the cause of this has always been due to some kind of selfishness on my part and a direct response to my actions toward them. Whether caused by drowning my own sorrows or running away from my problems, my family has always been there to catch me when I fall. I am not saying that I have fallen or even that I have any problems to run from. I am only stating that I realize this year how much more consistent my family has been than any friends I have ever had. I have a few very close friends that I know would be there for me at the drop of a hat to do anything for me that I needed. The beauty of family is that they are there for me to do what I need without me even having to explain what that may be.
This year, I plan to define my own happiness not by how far I fall, but how much further I bounce back after that descent. In 2009, I focused on charity and opening myself up to other people. Joining Civitan International, volunteering at the IFDDC, and offering to help all of my friends out in any way that I can all provided me with a way to give of myself. Although this is the best way to spend my time, I realize that I did these things as a way to feel better about myself. I was always expecting some kind of reciprocation and return for the investment of my emotions. This was the wrong reason to be charitable. True charity comes from a selfless act, not through expectations or desires of reciprocation.
I plan to bounce high in 2010. I will finish my bachelors, begin a career, open my own businesses, block out the negativity, invite unselfish people in, relish in the success and happiness of others, and be grateful for all of the wonderful things in my life. I plan on being charitable to help others for the sake of their needs not for the sake of my own desires. I will hold on to the friends that are always there for me and not using me for their own selfish desires. I will meet others whom my wonderful presence needs to influence. I will invite others in but be cautious about opening myself up so freely. I will focus on the things I need to do to find the love in others but not be careless in opening myself up.
2010 will be a year of discipline and focus to improve myself and the world in which I live. I will fix myself in order to be worthy of personal happiness. I will be thankful for every day I have and do everything I can. I will be there for my friends and family and help wherever I can. I will limit the emotion I show others and project the joy in life, not the pain inside. I will spend time with my family because they are a blast and help me to laugh for hours on end. I will be who I think I need to become and not who I think other people want me to be. I will live this year for myself and not let the selfish people in my life dictate my happiness. This is my new year’s resolution!
What will you do this year?
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